“God gave us life for free. We should not possess anything. Even love should be given unconditionally”, she told. That was what I was trying to do. Whenever she sends wishes on festival days, she addresses me “Dear Friend” and ends with “your loving friend”. This confused me a lot. Often, friendship and love they both looked same to me. But there is a massive difference. Love is thicker than friendship. Friendship is like a rock. Small breaks/cracks wont matter much. Love is like a dam. A small crack is enough to crash and destroy the complete structure how-so-ever strong the rest of dam could be. You see, how a dam and rock both looked same to me…That’s right, Madness always accompanies love.
She was not so beautiful. But she made everything around her beautiful. She had great morals and she hated smokers, drinkers, liars. I changed my habits for her and it was quite difficult for me to let in new changes. I stopped telling lies, speaking bad words and started to respect elders :). There was a dilemma that I was living someone else’s life. I should accept that there is a great amount of happiness in living for others than living for self. This is not a sacrifice. I just dropped few of my small dreams hoping for a better and bigger one. Sometimes, I felt we were totally different human beings in our thoughts, our interests. She used to speak a lot about cinemas, her friends, her office problems, her neighbour’s problems, which I had nothing to care about. I only pretend to listen in those situations. She listens to me whenever I speak about bikes, rock bands, WWE, Federer, Sachin. We both understood and appreciated the differences we had. She was the STAR in my life.
Friendship is a bliss. Love is more blissful than the angels lighting colorful fountain on the sky and showering rain. Life went on as it would never end. We shared all our happiness, boredom, tiredness, cricket, problems, silence, stories and some sadness. Life looked so beautiful than anyone else could dream of. One day, she told that nobody cares for her like the way I did and wanted me to marry her. I felt stronger and weaker, excited and terrified at the same time. From that magic moment, we were more than friends. I could not believe even today, if I am worthy for her billion dollar wish. It was like a miracle happened suddenly, like a fairy tale. Life turned the way whatever we wanted and filled in with perfect moments.
*****
A month went without a single talk. She not even bothered to return my phone calls. She had her own family problems as well. She ignored me completely only to make me realize that she was the reason behind all my achievements. What would I do without her? Alcohol became my only companion for next few days. But, I had promised her that I would give up smoking and drinking the day she comes back to me. She told that her parents were strict and not to contact her for atleast a year and she would try to convince them. Sometimes in life, we should take risks to be crazy as well. I should have fell on her parents knees and pleaded for our marriage. I didnt. “All girls are same. They are too much attached to their familes and can’t be relied upon for Love” - I thought. In the meanwhile, i got transferred to a different place for work where I crumbled into dust.
Pongal, Deepavali, Christmas, New year everything came only in calendars. I waited for her reply. Waiting was painful. Forgetting was painful. But not knowing what to do first was even worser than the pain itself. No STAR replies to our wishes. I was trying to be good throughout the year. Friends supported me to come up again. No alcohol could ever erase the pain that love leaves in the heart. True that with every love, we grow. To come up in life, to raise from the ashes, to undust the wounded heart we don’t need another love. Will is everything. The will to stand against the odds, chase the dreams only could keep us alive. Memories never change the past but dreams can change the future.
What my friends did to me on that day was unfair. We still are friends. That was just a crack in the rock and friendship means total forgiveness and too much fun. What I did on that day was a blunder. A crack in the dam that had too much of energy with damned love. I heard from one of my friends that she got married. I conveyed my wishes to her via email. Glad news… this time, I got a reply. “Dear Friend”…..:). She told some good news about her family too. I’m happy because she is happy. From that day, friendship continues to live and love……. continues to die.
Moral: Don’t drink and Love
Cheers,
Firewall_Sudhan
PS: Insert the below paragraph in the place of *****
Happiness multiplies when it is divided. My friends and I went for a treat. We chatted, had fun, ate for hours. Added to that, some of my friends ordered for drinks. They compelled and forced me to give them company. I went to her house with instability in all the three worlds and screamed her name. She could not stand the sight of me. “I hate you, you are a cheater” saying this she wept and left. Her eyes, her love… that was the dam I broke. When her parents came out, I spoke to them as though I was speaking to my friends. I asked them to sing and dance for our love. My friends rescued me from the spot before they could call police. The hands of fate changed everything upside down. Yes. I was drunk that day for the first time and I just did it for fun.
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